Why do breakups happen?


Have you ever thought about ‘Why do breakups happen?’ Today, I am going to talk about why do breakups happen and why do breakups hurt.

The Story

She was broke! No idea about how and why did that happen! It was almost like somebody had just taken away the air she had been breathing.

Yes! It was over. The enduring relationship she had been holding on to since many years was brought to an end. While gazing at the sky, all her vision could encounter was the absence of light that filled the gap between the stars and moon, the brightness of those celestial bodies was invisible to her eyes, all she sighted was the darkness.

“But I never expected this to happen, there must be some way how I can save it, I could never imagine living a life without him,” she thought.

The next day in the morning somehow she gathered her shattered self to make it to work. She spent a few days wondering what had just happened in her life and trying to keep herself normal. The pole she had been holding on to and expecting it to be there forever had just forsaken her. The feeling of love was over-burdened by an emotion of sheer “helplessness”. With the time passing by the depth of love got converted to hate.

She wondered, “What in the world is happening? Such a deep emotion of love got converted so easily into hatred just by the adverse behavior of another person. Is it really what love is? Is it this shallow? Was I even loving or pretending to love, or just satisfying some kind of ego or trying to run away from my own self? WHAT WAS IT?”

The Realization

On digging deep within she found the answer and realized that the relationship was entered in a state of sheer unconsciousness. Two individuals totally unaware of who they are and what they want in life can never end up being happy together. She realized that she was not at all aware of herself, who she was what she wanted in life.

“The end of this relationship was actually an opening to the doors within herself”

She got connected to herself through meditation and self-introspection. The depth to which she went within herself, gave her the answers to all the questions she had about the ending of the relation. Not only she got over it but she was at peace with herself thereafter, breaking the attachments and feeling of hatred. She still remembers the incident, but it has lost all the power to affect her anymore. She thanked the universe for putting her in such a situation so that she could re-connect to herself and dig up to unleash the treasure within.

Normally, when people enter in a relation, it is very necessary that both the individuals have mastered the skill of self-awareness. Unless and until you are not aware of yourself, how can it be expected that you will understand somebody else? The main issue with respect to relationships is that when two individuals get together, they forget their individuality, which should not be the case.

There should be “Togetherness with Individuality”. A relationship does not mean that you lose your own identity and dissolve in somebody else’s mold. Relationship means to complement each other while maintaining your own individuality.

A very beautiful line by Kalil Gibran has been written in his book “The Prophet” regarding marriages, which I would like to share as it perfectly explains the message I want to convey : –

“Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup”

Keep knowing yourself, because that’s the only way you can know others better! Once you know yourself better, you won’t be roaming around asking yourself that “why do breakups happen?”


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