5 Types of boundaries in a relationship!


In my previous blog, I talked about the issues an individual faces due to a lack of boundaries. I also pondered upon how important it is to have boundaries in a relationship. Today we are going to have a look at different aspects in which boundaries can be created.

Physical Boundaries

The physical boundary is about creating that line which determines to what extent can a person come close to you physically. Along with including the distance, it also takes care of how the other person needs to behave when they are within those limits. Any kind of hitting, inappropriate touching, or threatening by use of physical power needs to be eliminated. Clear communication should be used to make the other person aware of your boundaries.

Even publicly displaying affection is something that needs clarity when it comes to your physical boundaries. Some people might be comfortable with it while some may not like it. Your physical body, along with the need of having a certain space around also requires a certain amount of respect and acceptance. Not the slightest amount of shaming or commenting should be tolerated for the way you look.

Your physical world extends from your body to your personal information stored in your phone, laptops, or any other devices of yours. Access to those without your permission also amounts to a violation of your physical boundary.

So let’s sum up on physical boundaries in a relationship –

  • Physical Proximity
  • Public display of affection
  • Touching inappropriately
  • Accessing your gadgets and secured accounts
  • Inappropriate comments on your physical appearance

Emotional Boundaries

The absence of a boundary at an emotional level includes –

  • a lot of shame
  • the feeling of guilt
  • blaming
  • manipulations
  • mixing of emotions
  • holding each other responsible
  • shouting aggressively to get your way out
  • and a lot of emotional dumping.

A person with a healthy emotional boundary for self is the only person who will not emotionally abuse somebody else. So, instead of feeling selfish about creating boundaries, be proud of it. Because when you do not tolerate any shit, you won’t pass it on either.

Observe the image above. The superior figure has in itself words like dull, worthless, and selfish because he did not create boundaries. It shows that the elder did not seem to have boundaries either. When a person has not created a boundary in their own life they do not understand the importance of it. Further, they won’t let others create boundaries and will refuse to respect them as well.

Create your emotional boundaries by dismissing from the conversation that leads to abuse. Clearly mention your intention of not discussing that point again in the same manner.

In case of emotional boundaries in a relationship, both the individuals understand their own emotions independently. They do not consider the other person the center point. They express their feelings without blaming it on the other person.

Material Boundaries

Material boundaries are all about taking care of your material possessions. Not that you should cling to them and not give it to anybody. However, we all know there a few individuals out there who have no idea when to stop asking.

To create a limit on the usage of our personal possessions we need to create material boundaries. It can range from your vehicles, gadgets, jewelry, or any other accessories. Saying NO is already a tough task for many. So, letting people clearly know that they can use your things only under such and such conditions is very necessary.

Material boundaries in a relationship are all about possessions; with an emphasis on when and how they should be treated.

Mental Boundaries

We all have seen those “knowledgeable” people who feel they know it all. Instantly they start suggesting or shall I say impressing their ideology on others.

Mental boundaries in a relationship are like those free-spaces which save you from such people. In that free-space, every individual has the freedom to have their own ideologies to believe in.

You can disagree, but forcing your belief on somebody else is not a part that is respectful. A mental boundary makes it clear to the other person that you do not care if they disagree with you. However, you will also not take any kind of pressure from them to believe their thoughts.

Time/Energy Boundaries

The energy boundary is about creating a limit till which you would like to invest our energy in certain people/assignments.

Social media has made it impossible to create and follow these boundaries. It has become so easy for people to get in touch with us through the use of devices. If one does not remain aware of their time, it might get wasted in a large number.

It includes –

  • Boundaries around time
  • When to contact
  • Free labors and favors

Be smart about where you invest your time and energy by creating the right boundaries.

Creating boundaries is not an ultimatum or a warning or a threat. It’s just a way to make sure that the other person knows what you are comfortable with and what not.