“I am so worried about my examinations. I hope I clear them. As soon as I clear them, I’ll be at peace” my friend used to tell me when we studied together.
After clearing the exams…
“I am so worried about getting a job. I hope I get a good one. As soon as I get a good one, I’ll be at peace” my friend told me after clearing the exams.
After getting a job…
“I am so worried about moving to a new city, I hope I settle down properly. As soon as I find a proper place to live, I’ll be at peace” my friend told me after getting the job.
After finding a proper place to live…
“I am so worried about my relationship. I hope I sort out everything soon. As soon as things sort out between us and we get married, I will be at peace” my friend told me after working for a few months.
After getting married….
“I am so worried about the finances of our family. I hope I can manage the expenses. As soon as I find some new work to do along with the job, I will be at peace” my friend told me after getting married.
My dear friend here is stuck in a loop.
I‘m sure you guys must have realized that it is a never ending chain.
The only thing that remained constant in his life was “WORRIES”, no matter what the situations were.
Is life really meant to be full of worries? Like, ALL THE TIME?
Can’t we experience all those moments happily & enjoy the transition from
- Being a Student to a Graduate
- From a Graduate to a Professional
- From a Professional to a Life Partner
- From a Life Partner to a Parent.
After this realization, I started observing the way people lived. Almost everybody had the same approach. They worried about whether one thing will happen or not and when that thing happened, their worries shifted immediately to something else. Even I did that!!
That made me think deeply about what was the issue.
It was very obvious that the presence of ‘worry’ had nothing to do with the situations; because we had this skill of creating misery out of anything. So it was us, human beings, who were carrying misery within us and sprinkling it on every event that came across in our lives.
That took me to another question.
Why are we so miserable?
We are miserable because we always feel that there is ‘lack of something’ in our life. It can either be in terms of relationships, finance, health, career or any other thing. When we feel that this is not enough, we want more & instantly misery jumps in.
“Please be aware that there is nothing wrong in striving for more. However, striving for more should not be at the cost of your inner peace. Misery won’t take you anywhere. It will just take all of what you have”
What is the solution to this feeling of ‘lack of something’ in life?
I know it might sound a cliché and you have heard it about 1000 times, but it is something that really creates a huge impact. It is, ‘GRATITUDE!’
Practicing gratitude in as many ways possible has the best effects on the feeling of scarcity. Don’t just be grateful for things that you have, express gratitude to people around you. Expanding gratitude and speaking about it, gives rise to joy and happiness within you and people around you. Trust me, I have tried and I have seen wonders in the way I think. The worries will vanish like a bubble.
All you need to show is consistency, commitment & continuity. Experience the feeling of being thankful each and every moment of your life & I guarantee you that nobody in this world will have the power to make you miserable!
*Start by being thankful for the most intimate relationships that you hold, because that is the hardest part. We normally take them for granted.
* Then develop a habit of writing 5-10 things early in the morning about which you are thankful. You might have read this before, but unless you try it you won’t know how it feels. SO GO AND TRY AT LEAST A WEEK. When you write down those things, FEEL the positivity and joy arising within you. Let that emotion grow and then move on to your daily routine. Don’t just make it another daily routine and finish it in a hurry. Every day find out 5-10 new things to be thankful for. Don’t just copy paste what you wrote yesterday.
* Be thankful, even in the worst situations of your life. Learn to find the blessing in disguise when you are struggling in your life. Look out for the learnings that this time is teaching you. When you manage to be thankful for even one thing in your worst times, it will bring a change in the way you look at situations. That is a really beautiful and touching experience.
* Neuroscience reveals gratitude literally rewires your brain to be happier. According to UCLA’s Mindfulness Awareness Research Center, regularly expressing gratitude literally changes the molecular structure of the brain, keeps the gray matter functioning, and makes us healthier and happier.
So, whatever there is, it is inside you.
MAY GOD BLESS YOU!