The trait not to betray!


You should always tell the truth, they say! 

The very well known saying, “Honesty is the best policy” has been carved on the walls of our mind since childhood. But, do we really understand the original essence of the word ‘honesty’? 

To get a clear perception in your mind, I would like to explain it with an example of the mouth-watering dessert. 

What do you think is the best way to savour this delicious cake? Would you rather choose to taste all the layers of the cake or just taste it from the top corner?

(Consider it to be sugar-free & have low calories 😉 )

I know many of you are very health conscious.  🙂 

Considering the above situation, I’m sure you all must have chosen to taste all the layers of the cake to enjoy it to the fullest. Not tasting all the layers would amount to an injustice to the tasty cake, wouldn’t it? 

The idea of honesty when limited to just ‘speaking the truth’, resonates with tasting just some part of the cake. There is much more to it, that needs to be unveiled.


 something more than just speaking the truth

 What is it? 

Honesty definitely includes ‘being truthful’ with others, but at the base lies something very different and worth knowing. For that, we need to understand a rule.

“To pass it on, you need to have it first with you”


Can you ever give somebody something that you do not possess? Can you pass on something to another person, without first owning it?

If a person sitting right next to you asks for a glass of water, can you give it to them right now? No, because you don’t have it in your hand. First, you will have to get one and then you can give it to him/her. Right?

Similarly, if you want to pass on anything to anybody, even for a certain amount of time, you must have to own it first. You cannot pass on something that you do not have with you. 

If you are happy you will spread happiness, if you are in grief you will spread grief, if you have chocolates you will be able to distribute chocolates, if you are excited you will spread excitement around you, if you have horror you will spread horror, so on and so forth.

You can only give out the things that you have with you.

Applying the Rule#1 above we come to the conclusion that ‘to be dishonest with others, first we have to be dishonest with ourselves’. If you are fully (100%) honest with yourself, then there can be no scope of being dishonest with anybody else outside.

“Honesty is the absence of self-deception”

To deceive other, you have to deceive yourself first. In absence of self-deception, dishonesty can never prevail.


When some part of your self exactly knows what is to be done, but some other part of that same self opposes it just because it does not get any external validation, approval, it is very tough to implement it or due to any other reason, then it is self-deception.

Being honest with yourselves is all about being ‘consistent’. When, what you say, what you do and what you feel go in the same direction, there is no self-deception. This is the state in which an inner conflict cannot prevail. It is the presence of inner conflict that tempts the action of entering into conflict with somebody outside.

Acknowledge the suppressed emotions and unresolved fears. Accept & acknowledge that it is not that person or situation that was responsible, but something inside you, that was stopping you.

“IT’S TIME WE FACE OURSELVES”, because that is the ultimate truth.

Being honest with yourself is not a destination that can be reached within a few minutes. It is a journey that needs to be taken with patience, discipline, and love towards oneself.

Next time when the voice in your head starts to speak, remind it about the ‘trait not to betray’!



Photo by Matthew T Rader on Unsplash